A Charmeng Life: Our Charmeng Wedding: Goin’ to the Basilica

After John and I took our pre-ceremony portraits, it was time we said goodbye, and got ready for our wedding ceremony. So he went with his boys, and I went with my girls to our respective places in the basilica.

As I mentioned before, we were married at the gorgeous St. Joseph Cathedral Basilica in San Jose. We chose this church because I seriously believe it is the most beautiful Catholic church in San Jose, and because of sentimental reasons. I was actually baptized in this church 26 years ago. It’s still as beautiful as the last time.

The entire day I was pretty calm, and it didn’t really feel like it was THE day. I made sure to breathe and eat and drink before the church ceremony. Granted I did cry when John and I did our first look, but aside from that, I was cool as a cucumber. Our “bridal room” was a small teeny tiny room, probably 4 x 6, so trying to stuff 6 bridesmaids, 1 jr. bridesmaid, a bride and a hair and make-up artist was pushing it. I remained calm, chatting with my bridesmaids just moments before they’d be called. I wasn’t nervous or anxious until my aunt called all my girls to get in line. It was time. They hugged me, told me they loved me, and left the room.

There was a full length mirror in the room, so I decided to take one last look at me as a single lady. It was at that moment when it hit me. I had been calm the entire time and it hit me like a ton of bricks. OH. MY. GOSH. I’M GETTING MARRIED! And then the tears started to fall. One after the other. I couldn’t stop. Stupid mirror. I saw myself, in my dress, all done up, and I was crying. Maria gave me a tissue and told me how to dry my tears without smudging my make-up. She said to dab your eye, not wipe, until the tears stop. I asked “what happens if the tears don’t stop?” She said “Just keep holding it there.” So that’s what I did. I kept holding the tissue as close to my tear ducts as possible. Then they called me. It was my turn.

I walked outside the bridal room to find my mom and dad standing there waiting for me. I tried to get my mind off of crying, but I could see John already standing up at the altar waiting for me. I cried more. Everyone tried to tell me to be calm. I was still crying. I focused on the positioning of my mom and dad’s hands on my hands. I eventually settled on them holding my elbows. It was the comfortable and least awkward positioning for me. It helped. I stopped crying for a little bit. The church coordinator and my wedding coordinator asked me if I was finally ready, since everyone had been waiting already for the doors to open. I finally said yes. The doors, everybody stood up, and their eyes were on me. But this is what I saw:

Just like in John fashion, he was standing there with a smile. No tears in sight. Just all smiles.

He said he was nervous, and I guess when he’s nervous he crosses his hands. Looks familiar? He did the same pose when we did our first look.

I think the blusher was the best idea. None of my pro pictures shows me with my ugly cry face, and boy do I have an ugly cry face. I cried the entire way down the aisle. My parents didn’t shed a tear–surprised that my dad didn’t, he’s the crier between the two.

I wanted my veil to extend passed my train, but from this angle it doesn’t look like it extended that much farther. And this is where it looks like my train wasn’t that long after all.

I walked the entire way just staring at John. I didn’t take my eyes off of him. There were so many cameras flashing, but I just looking straight ahead and tried to absorb the moment where I’d give him my hand. When we got to the end of the aisle, he came down from the altar, and I completely blanked. Luckily my dad remembered what to do.

He lifted my veil…

…and gave me a kiss. I turned around to my mom, and kissed her too.

Then my dad shook John’s hand, and gave my hand to him. And apparently, both John and I blanked out because we did something we weren’t supposed to do…luckily it wasn’t captured on film! It was a small snafu that no one probably caught. We walked up to the altar…waited…waited…and then I whispered to John, “I don’t think we’re supposed to be here. I think we were supposed to go to our seats.” He said, “okay,” and we walked down the stairs, and to our seats. It helped me stop crying. I’ve planned the wedding so well, and then I completely forgot what I was supposed to do.

The first reading was read by one of John’s close fraternity brothers.

And the responsorial psalm was sung by one of the women in my dad’s choir. She did an awesome job. She sang one of the songs my dad wrote. So unique, and so meaningful to us.

The second reading was read by my sister’s boyfriend. He’s really awesome at proclaiming the Word. He was excited he got to read 1st Corinthians.

And there I go crying again. I cried randomly throughout our ceremony. Whenever I thought about how our day has finally come, and that I finally get to spend the rest of my life with the man I love, I cried. And John knew I’d cry, so he’d always look at me as soon as I put my hand to my eyes.

I’m laughing because I knew he was checking to see if I was crying.

This has to be my favorite picture of our wedding day. There we are, standing at the altar, about to say our vows. I couldn’t have been happier. I’m smiling because John is saying his vows. I loved hearing him say them.

And then when it was my turn, I cried, of course. This is me trying to hold back the tears. I took my time. I breathed deeply, and yet I still cried.

And then it was time for the rings.

Can you see how anxious John is about getting his ring. His left hand is just waiting in the wings for its debut.

Yes, finally! Ring is going on!

He’s a happy camper now.

Next was the lighting of the unity candle. I told John that I was sure that it would take time to put our side candles back into their candleholders, and that we should just pick the whole thing up and light them. So that’s what we did.

I couldn’t think of how I wanted to decorate the side candles, so I just left them plain. I loved the way our unity candle turned out though. Our monogram, design, and colored ribbons all on one candle. I almost forgot to blow out our side candles, but luckily John reminded me. We happened to blow them out at the exact same time, and our BMs said it looked really cute. Can’t wait to see that on the video.

Then it was onto more Filipino traditions. In the Filipino culture, the groom presents his bride with 13 coins representing Jesus and his 12 disciples. It’s a sign that the groom will care for the bride and their family. It sounds archaic, and a lot of brides don’t like the idea that the “man” has to take care of the woman. But I take it more for its symbolic representation. That the groom is declaring that he will support his family, emotionally as well as financially. What’s wrong with a man saying that he will provide for his family?

The next was the blessing of our bible and rosary. It symbolizes our recognition that God plays an important role in our life and marriage. And that we should center our marriage around our faith. I got a ruby red rosary to match our wedding colors.

And then the most traditional of all Filipino traditions, the donning of the cord and veil. My grandma got our veil from the Philippines, and the veil was the veil my parents used two years before in their 25th wedding anniversary. Oddly, I don’t have any pictures of our sponsors actually putting it on us.

The prayers of the faithful were read by my little cousin. She had work during the rehearsal, so she was really nervous saying it. She stumbled in the beginning, but got better by the end.

Since the church ceremony was mainly for us and my side of the family, most of the participants were from my side of the family because John’s side is Buddhist. I had both of my grandmothers bring up the gifts. You can see them walking down the altar in the above picture. They both had their dresses made in the Philippines, and were nicely color-coordinated.

Random picture. I loved holding his hand. Kept me calm.

Fr. Kevin blessing the gifts.

I’m laughing because I knew that Fr. Kevin would forget to have our sponsors take off the veil and cord…and he did. He said “it’s okay” and while everyone was doing the Sign of Peace, he quickly had our sponsors take off our veil and cord.

We had one of my grandmothers and one of my aunts serve the wine, while the priests gave communion.

After communion, John and I did the final Filipino tradition, giving flowers to Mother Mary.

I think we may have prayed to Mother Mary too fast, because we were standing at the altar for a long time before the song was over. Luckily it gave us time to just breathe, hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.