Our Charmeng Wedding: Tea Ceremony

Last we left off, I was upstairs waiting for my descension into the tea ceremony. I felt a little hurried to “go downstairs, everybody’s waiting.” I took a deep breath, grabbed my dad’s arm and headed down the stairs.

I absolutely love John’s face here. I guess you could say that this was our official “first look” of the day. Doesn’t he look happy?

Can you tell I was a little nervous having all eyes on me?

I’m a little disappointed that the photographers didn’t get any pictures of the procession of trays coming into my house, but what can you do. I believe there were only four trays to carry, but it would’ve been a nice picture.

After I came downstairs, the next step in the process was for my parents to open the gifts that were brought by the groom’s family. The groom’s family brought the gifts wrapped in this beautiful red cloth.

Inside the trays were:

Wine

Tea

Fruit

Dessert

After the presents were opened, it was onto the offering of tea to the elders. Despite being to many tea ceremonies, since John was the first person in his family to get married in the US, our entire tea ceremony was pretty much winged. It was a very “loose” tea ceremony. It was a go with the flow kind of feeling, which was nice, because since I had no control over anything, I could do no wrong! A twist to our tea ceremony was the fact that we didn’t actually serve any tea to anyone. No no, John’s family had us serve:

That’s right, we served cognac to everyone. I didn’t have a tea ceremony, I had a cognac ceremony. Luckily the tea set that we were using had very small tea cups. They were more like tea ounces.

We basically served everyone shots of cognac, which made for an interesting time. My side of the family were really eager to witness a real tea ceremony since we’re Filipino and don’t traditionally have tea ceremonies. So I think everyone was surprised to find out that they’d be taking shots of cognac. But look at all the fun they were having!

My poor grandmother! She’s such a trooper. John and I didn’t really know what we were doing at first, so we both had tea cups for her…meaning she took TWO shots of cognac from us.

My other set of grandparents were having fun. Cognac for everyone!


Doesn’t my mom look eager to take a shot! I think she was trying to brace herself before she took the shot.

My aunt and uncle. I think my uncle enjoyed the cognac.

Two of my aunts. They were laughing the entire time they walked up to sit down. I think they were thinking “are we really going to take shots?!?”

Another aunt and uncle. I think my uncle asked for a “double” then toasted with my aunt!

And last, but certainly not least, another aunt, aka my wedding coordinator. She was wondering if she should take a shot since she’s a lightweight and was coordinator for the day. But she took it anyway, and was fine.

After serving “tea” to everyone on my side, it was time to leave my house and head to John’s family’s house. As is tradition, I rode in a decorated car.

This is actually my grandmother’s car. We borrowed it for the day, and John’s family decorated it. It’s so sad, but they told me there was this HUGE bow on the front where the emblem is, but as they were driving over to my house, it unraveled, then flew off.

At John’s house, his parents first paid their respects to their altar, and then burned and presented incense.

Then it was our turn to do the same.

We didn’t have to burn incense or pay our respect to my ancestors at my house because we don’t have an altar at my house. Having altars is very common in Vietnamese households.

Once we were done burning incense, it was time for us to give “tea” to John’s side of the family.

First up, John’s parents.

After John’s parents received tea from us, it was time for John’s mom to present me with jewelry.

John’s mom was planning on buying me the usual necklace, earrings and bracelet set, but I really only wanted to wear earrings on my wedding day. I would’ve felt obligated to wear everything she bought me on our wedding day, so we discussed it, and she only bought me the earrings I wanted to wear. Yay for new jewelry!

Back to serving tea:

This is John’s uncle and aunt. John’s aunt was so smart. She just held the cup up to her mouth and didn’t drink it. She just smiled and winked at me. That’s why I’m laughing because she didn’t actually take the shot. Smart woman.

I think these are John’s dad’s cousins. I think the photographer thought they were John’s grandparents.

These are John’s uncles. I know they loved the cognac.

I think these are John’s dad’s cousins from Seattle. Obviously I don’t know them very well. This may have been the first time for me to meet them.

After the last tea was served, then it was time to eat! Yum! The food was great. It was pretty much the only meal I had that day. I just sat in my chair and ate. We also ended up taking some formal portraits while at John’s house.

Don’t my girls look gorgeous!

The guys don’t look too bad either

Looks like I’m praying. I was just taking a breather before the next segment of our wedding began. Now that the tea ceremony was done, it was time to change clothes, and do our official “first look,” along with our photo session. Time for John to see me in my dress!