Our little tiger

After being told I could stay, the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural. I was surprised that I was asked so early in my labor if I wanted to get an epidural. I was under the impression that the epidural only lasts for a certain amount of time, and once it wears off, then that's it. Well, I was wrong. Once John (and the nurse) told me that an epidural is a constant flow of drugs that only ends when you turn it off, I was all for it. They said that there was no point in waiting later and enduring the pain if I knew for sure that I would want the epidural at some point. And I knew I would! So at only 2cm dilated, I requested my epidural. Ironically, when I finally decided to ask for the epi, the anesthesiologist was busy doing a c-section. Since I was already in some pain, the nurse suggested giving me fentanyl till the anesthesiologist got there. At this point I was like "sure, why not." Oh my gosh, best idea ever! John said that fentanyl is a narcotic and it's like being high. Wow, was that ever true! It made all the pain in my entire body go away, and then I felt happy and slightly numb. I loved it!

A half hour later, the anesthesiologist came in and I got my epidural. The epidural was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I did feel some pressure, but I didn't feel any pain really. I actually think that I felt more pain when they were inserting my IV than when I got the epi. I immediately started feeling numb in my thighs. I was glad it was working.

At 1pm, my ob came to check on me and break my water. I was hesitant for her to break my water so early just because I knew that there's a small 12 hour window where you need to deliver your baby after your water breaks, or else you end up getting a c-section. My ob assured me that breaking my water would help progress my labor, and that we wouldn't even have to deal with the c-section scenario. I feel like I didn't even have time to process her breaking my water before I felt a gush of water flowing down my butt. I was shocked and said "was that my water?" Sure enough it was. I prayed really quick that my baby would come before the 12 hour mark.

Once they broke my water, they noticed that there was meconium in my amniotic fluid. Not good. I jokingly told John earlier in my pregnancy that this baby wasn't going to come out until she poops inside me. Turns out, I was right. I was worried that she pooped in my uterus because this meant that she could have inhaled meconium. But I was assured that once I delivered my baby, the NICU nurses would check on her and make sure that she's okay. I tried putting it out of my mind, saying that we'd cross that bridge once we're there.

During my labor the doctors wanted to better monitor my contractions, so I ended up getting an internal monitor placed. And with the epidural being in place, I also had a catheter put in. Don't forget the IV, the blood pressure cuff, and my epidural in my back. And ten minutes after my water breaking, I was started on pitocin.

At 2:45pm (two hours after pitocin was started), my baby's heart rate went down. They placed a fetal scalp electrode on my baby's head. We didn't know it at the time, but my baby did not like when the pitocin level was above a 4. Every time someone tried to raise it above a 4, her heart rate would go down. With her heart rate going down, I was placed on an oxygen mask, which I pretty much wore on and off for the rest of my labor. I was 3cm dilated at this point.

I continued to dilate about a centimeter every hour. I was 5-6 centimeters dilated at 6pm when I found out that my ob was signing me over to another ob in her practice. She said that her daughter was sick and she had to attend to her. Interestingly enough, one of my aunts was the one who referred their ob practice to me, and the same thing had happened to her. So my baby and my cousins were delivered by the same random ob.

I felt like I was progressing so slowly, probably due to the fact that my pitocin couldn’t be raised like normal. I kept having different nurses assigned to me, and every time they came in, I would ask them if they thought I’d have my baby by the end of the day. They all said yes. That is, until I got a new nurse at 8pm who said “Oh no, you’ve got a good 4-5 hours left in you.” I was sad.

At 9:30pm, I was 7cm dilated, and had horrible back and neck pain. Something that I didn’t realize before giving birth was that an epidural doesn’t get rid of all pain. You’re still able to feel pressure in your cervix so that y ou know when to push, but also you can still feel any other random pain you’re having. So my random neck and back pain that the doctor said was not associated with my labor at all, was excruciatingly painful. I started feeling a lot of pressur e in my rectum too, which I thought meant I needed to poo. I was assured that it was just the baby’s head putting pressure on my rectum. Up until that point, I was pretty convinced I needed to poo, which luckily I didn’t end up doing (an other one of those things pregnant women are always afraid of doing).

At 11pm, I was 9 cm dilated and felt like pushing. It’s a weird feeling that your body is telling you to push, but the doctor and nurses tell you not to. I was told that if I pushed before I was 10cm, my cervix could swell shut, forcing me to have a c-section. That news brought me to tears. I had been at the hospital for 12 hours already, and did not want to have a c-section. I tried my hardest not to push but my whole body wanted to push.

Finally at midnight I was 10cm dilated and they let me push. Pushing was so much harder than I thought it would be. Despite my body wanting to push, it took so much energy to actually push to the point of making progress. The nurses kept asking m e if I wanted a mirror to see “down there” since it’s usually encouraging for women to see the progress their making. I said no. I’d probably freak out if I saw what was going on down there.

Throughout my labor I still had my horrible neck and back pain. In fact, it was so bad that it was more painful than the final contractions. DH had to constantly massage my neck and back while holding my leg as I pushed. If he didn’t massag e me, I was in too much pain to push. It was really horrible. Finally at 1:11am, my beautiful daughter Cesalie Minh was born weighing 6lbs 11oz, measuring at 20.5 in.

The NICU nurses immediately took her to the warming station in our room to check her lungs for the meconium. Right after delivering her, my body started uncontrollably shaking and I felt extremely cold. My teeth were chattering and I was shaking. And nobody knew what was wrong with me. They tried warming me up with blankets but I would still shake. The doctor decided to deliver the placenta right away. Delivering the placenta minutes after giving birth is hard in itself, but doing it while shaking and feeling like you have no control over your body is even harder. I finally delivered the placenta, but was still shaking.

After an hour of shaking, eventually they had the idea of taking my temperature. Turns out I had a fever of 103.8. They found out that I had an infection in my uterus (which I think was a result of having my water broken and not delivering until 12 hours later), which likely caused me to have a fever and shake. I was given antibiotics and stopped shaking. They also sewed me up since I had a second degree laceration.

I kind of felt robbed of being able to hold my baby immediately. First she had to be taken away to be checked (she was totally fine), and then when they wanted to give her to me, I was shaking so uncontrollably that I didn’t want to take he r cause I thought I would drop her. I didn’t end up holding her until 2:30am. But we were finally both happy and healthy.